Social Anxiety

So this blog post is more of a serious topic, I am quite a shy person and just over a year ago I was diagnosed with social anxiety. This is something I have had to deal with all my life along with many other people, it made school life really hard as I found it hard to talk to new people and when I did make friends, after a while I would become very paranoid which made me feel like they didn't really want to be my friends and that they were simply putting up with me. When I got to college life didn't become any easier as I was placed into a class of just guys and then little old me and considering I only had one friend whom went to a different college I became very lonely.

During this time at college I quit my job working at a hotel because my boss was a terrifying person, which again made my life easier as she accused me of being rude and various other things simply because I didn't say hi to her each day. So I left my hotel job to work in a cafe that was just starting up, everyone that worked there turned out to be lovely and 3 years down the line I am still working there between my studies at university.

Ok so that was a lovely story but what was your point Sammy? I am saying that as terrifying as getting a job, one of which consistently required endless amounts of socialisation with the customers each and every day it was one of the best things I could have possibly done. My confidence improved and I soon found that my day was basically scripted, greeting each customer with the same "Hello how are you today?" taking their order and then saying goodbye. Because of working at this cafe in such a friendly environment I gained the confidence to go to university, even though I panicked several times during the summer period before leaving home and cried on the first night after being dropped off by my parents because of how terrified I was about doing the whole social, club nights, drinking thing. The fact that I didn't drink and had never been to a party/club didn't help but I can honestly say, being sat here now 3 years down the line and about to graduate I am so proud of myself for doing it. I have a great group of friends who are in the complete know about my paranoia and will listen to me and re-assure me that I am crazy when I do freak out.

So for anyone who is in a similar situation to what I was 3 years ago I advise you to make the jump and to get a job and go to university as you will find people that understand you and how you feel. I don't feel like I am in a situation of telling people what to do I just remember feeling so crappy and scared about things and so I'm simply saying that life can get better.